Mom Peeve #9: The mom who refuses to trim her garden...and takes it to the public pool.
Deforestation is greatly needed at the public pool. No, I am not talking about the rainforests and I am not suggesting we cut down all the trees surrounding the public pool. I am talking personal hygiene here people. I am talking "deforesting" your body, particularly the regions of your body that might require a sensor bar due to a lack of grooming on your part.
I am sorry to be harping on the public pool again. Actually, I am not harping on the pool, you see the public pool and me, we're all good. The people AT the pool, in public, we are not so good. Let's get right to it. I'm at the public pool yesterday and a mom sits down next to me, and not just any mom. This mom looked as if she had not shaved her legs since 1973, and in the meantime, sprinkled miracle grow on those legs for maximum hair growth. Dark black hairy legs, hairier than any man's at the pool that day, possibly Guinness Book worthy. I immediately turned away in horror, but took a double take, and triple take, and so on.
I am by no means the shave police. I don't shave my legs every singe day, and sometimes a full week goes by in between shaves-gasp! I'm not about to issue any tickets or blow my life guard whistle from back in the day for minor shave infractions. Now I know you might be thinking, "Who cares? Some women don't shave their legs, whatever." Ok, I will give you that. I would prefer women in bathing suits not look like they are wearing velcro legwarmers, but some people like a little static electricity when they enter the pool. If that's where this story ended I would end my rant.
Oh, but the rant goes on. The situation at hand, not exactly a minor infraction. For when the Velcro Violator stood up, she looked like she had the Amazon Rainforest growing from...well I think you know what I am getting at...down under, in her Australia. OK, now I have a major problem, because a minor deforestation-or lack of deforestation issue, now turned into a grooming/hygiene issue.
Now I don't want to beat a dead horse here, or wave electric razors or hedge trimmers around wildly. I'll just leave you with this reminder: Nobody wants to see anybody with a very hairy Australia at the pool.
