Aug 4, 2009

Mom Peeve #11 The Homeless Hangout

Mom Peeve #11 The homeless hangout, otherwise known as your public library.

I am not a total heartless bitch. My middle name is not elitist. I just don't get why all of the homeless and a little freaky looking people have to sit right outside the public library. OK, maybe I am a tad elitist.

I really do believe in loving people. Hell, I have even sprung for a few chicken biscuits in my day for the homeless guy with the sign on the corner outside the McDonalds.

There's just something about walking into the library, small children in hand, and seeing a dirty and creepy looking man following you in with his eyes. I usually just go about my business, and crack a half smile to break the awkwardness. On our last venture to the library my little one started waving wildly at all the homeless and or creepy people loitering outside the library-not the subtlety I was going for, but what can I say the girl's got charisma and heart.

Did I mention smoking, strange odors, and weird loud talk and staring accompany such people outside the library?I know I am not perfect and I have no perfect solutions to solve the problem of homelessness. I am an imperfect person with peeves.

Its just that we frequent the library quite often and awkward is not always fun to do with kids especially if nonsense and profanity are serenading our entrance into the library. Regardless of the insanity that ensues, my daughter smiles and waves at whoever is sitting on the long stone bench. Maybe that little wave brightens some one's day, so maybe its not that bad after all. I'm just saying, can we switch up the loitering outside the library for some naps in tube slides at a less frequented park? I am willing to compromise.

Mom Peeve #10: Good night already!...

Mom Peeve #10: Children + 9:00 PM + playing 2 inches outside my window loudly = annoying.

I don't think I'm Scrooge and I do not hate kids. I do not hate kids playing outside. In fact, I love children playing outside-most of the time. It reminds me of the good old days when I was 10 years old, dragging a gaudy red suitcase down the street, jam packed with dress up clothes and my grandmother's hideous and ridiculously bright negligees for the neighborhood posse to try on....

I grew up in a neighborhood where we all played in each other's backyards, we all gathered regularly to play ball games, dress up, teacher, you name it, we played it-even hooker one time...well, not really...we just put on trashy make-up and tube tops for mini skirts. Everyone needs to wear more makeup than a clown at some point. Here's the thing, and there is always a "thing." My house apparently posses a large magnetic power for attracting loud, shoeless children who congregate very closely to my house around 8:00, 8:30, 9:00pm at night and on. I swear these children are actually yelling to one another over my house. Some of them are in my back yard which runs into a common areas. Some of the children are in the street in the front of my house. They are literally yelling things to one anther with one obstacle in their way-my house.

These details might be a tad dramatic, but I swear, yes swear, every night they are running around yelling outside at 9:15 PM. Now I am not trying to get all "night-time Nazi" on anyone's ass, but when I have 2 small children in bed closer to 8:00PM or earlier, yelling kid voices from the unknown do not help my bedtime quest.

Now I am not proposing a universal bedtime of 8:00PM sharp, just asking that parents start reeling in those kids around that time, or at least keep them penned up in their respective yards and out of my yard. Just because it stays light until 9:27 PM in the summer, does not mean I want to hear Charlie yelling to his sister Sarah to "WAIT UP!!!" 5 inches from my house at that exact time.

And a side note: I know fireworks, bottle rockets, and all that shit are a whole lot of fun, but it is freaking the first week in August. The 4th of July was a month ago, why don't you catch that firecracker train next year. Can we keep those out of my backyard too please? I think that's all for now. The only fireworks I want to see people shooting off past July 5 are ones that form smiley faces and cowboy hats.

Giddy Up.